A quick mind and a big mouth are an unfortunate combination. Especially if you are 5 years old, this “attitood” will see you being banished to your room quite often, where you are expected to think over your behaviour.
Failing that, it will at least keep you busy with lego and out of your mothers hair till you know better than to be a potty mouth.
Then, there are those times when one’s own err..flaws come and bite one roundly in one’s derriere.
08:30 a.m. Viking residence
Arvind: Shit, where is my Lightning McQueen?
Mamma: Arvind, don’t use that kind of language!
Arvind (genuinely puzzled): But you do it. You say “F***!” a lot. All. Over. The. Place.
Mamma (taken aback and thrown off guard). No. Not all over the place. Where did you pick up “all over the place” anyway? I only say it if I stub my toe or something..
Arvind: And when we’re late getting out of the house and you’ve forgotten to warm up the car.
Mamma: errr. well…
Arvind: And when people are rude in traffic jams…sometimes when you’re mad at Pappa!
Mamma: (feeling like a total arsewipe and annoyed at total recall): Well. umm.. it’s wrong whoever says it. Even if its your mother. Neither of is going to use language like that again, okay?
Arvind: I have an even better idea! We should get a bad word box. If anyone uses a bad word, they have to put 1 krone in the box – like the bad word box at school.
I give the Viking a nasty look, the look that says, ” Did you TiVO Nanny 911 for Arvind’s viewing pleasure, you freak?”
“So I can’t swear in the comfort and privacy of our own home? I’m to be deprived of the most basic taxpayer privilege?” I mutter resentfully to the Viking.
The Viking, who is desperately trying to keep from rolling in splits in our hallway, says with all the wry dignity he can muster, “Son, you’ll be a millionaire before you know it!”
Gah! Its official. Our son has me on Potty Mouth Probation.