Me: (after a particularly long day): Groan. Roar. Growl. Snap. More roaring. Wild gesticulating.
The Viking: (with usual unwavering calm) That doesn’t make any sense. You have no reason to feel that way.
Me: Reason? (spewing the word) We need reasons now? I didn’t say it was reasonable. I said this is How. I. Feel.
The Viking: But what you feel is unreasonable to me. You’re just yelling and ranting. And when you yell, I don’t want to listen.
Me: (fighting the urge to rearrange facial features) I wouldn’t yell if I thought you got it. So screw my tone, get past that to what I’m actually saying.
Moment of tense silence ensues.
The Viking: Do you want some wine? We have some great wine.
Me: (unsure) Wine’s good.
The Viking (gently): Come here. You look like you could use a squeeze.
I am such a pushover for the sane, reasonable, rational and loving man. It’s borderline pathetic is what it is.
Can’t live with them. Definitely can’t live without them.
Moral of the story: When in doubt, don’t avoid the bomb. Diffuse it.