Mum (and self-appointed ruler of Casa di Frøiland): A, switch off that T.V. And get a life that doesn’t involve Ben 10.
A: (Looking mutinous) On one condition.
Mum: (groaning inwardly and in no mood to negotiate)???
A: That you give me some tough sums to do.
Mum: Tough sums?
A: Yes not stupid stuff like 4+6=10, because EVERYBODY knows THAT (snort). But stuff like 25 + 16.
Mum: You want to add that?
A: D-uh! (Okay. He didn’t say that or I would have cuffed him, but he indicated a certain Homer Simpson-ness with the roll of his ONE eyeball.)
So we did “tough” sums for about an hour or so. I am sad to report that I am now a hero because I added 56+64 with. No. Hands. (Never mind that it took me the better part of a minute, but I think I can almost fake knowing wisdom when I pretend to think.) Tragic indeed to have such a need to shine in my son’s eyes. Give me a break – I have till about third grade and then I’ll be outed for the Maths dud I really am.
Did you know that Pluto is no longer a planet? Well, it’s not. And I am outraged. And to add insult to injury, Pluto is now a “dwarf planet”. The nerve, I say! What a kick in the groin for Pluto. “You wannabe planet, you!” the astronomers mock. Yes, apparently, other Kuiper Belt Objects, like Ceres, have screwed Pluto over.
Why this sudden interest in astronomy? Well, the geek grandmother sent us a solar system whatchammacallit thingy. Its wonderful! When lit up, you can lie in bed, and see constellations of stars on the ceiling.
But now there are only 8 planets and I am miffed. Having kids and educating them is hard enough. We now have to deal with massive shifts in knowledge too? Gah!
A minutes silence for the deceased planet, please.