Pedometer, Bite Me

You exist to make me feel awful. Was the sun overshadowed by evil forces when I decided to strap you on today?

I was hopeful today, you awful piece of junk. And hope is fragile. But what would you know?

You inform me that I have walked 500 steps today. 500? You must be broken.

Oprah needs me to do 10,000. We have a pact, you heartless device.

I knew those extended tea breaks would kill the game. That and the blogging.

How will my world continue to spin on its axis if I’ve disappointed Oprah? 

Answer that, pedometer. Measure my heartache.

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11 Comments

Filed under Exercise

11 responses to “Pedometer, Bite Me

  1. maidinmalaysia

    your ped must be the brother of my treadmill, back in india…

    i would have counted till 300,
    mentally flown upto lille, bachcharah,
    planned dinner for three weeks…

    and still the time would show only 5 minutes.

  2. True, your treadmill and my pedometer sound like they were made for each other!

    Shame on these devices, making us feel like lazy louts!

  3. allrighthere

    I was going to buy one of those things, and then I thought to myself: “There is no way on God’s green earth that you’re gonna be doin’ 10,000 steps a day so save yourself the blow to your self-esteem”

    Your post just confirmed that I made the right choice – hahaha! So thanks for that!

    (oh – and chuck that thing, lol! I love Oprah as much as the next gal, but on this one I think we should use the woman’s prerogative of selective hearing where she’s concerned)

    Here’s to moms who take the chance to sit down and enjoy life whenever the opportunity rises :cheers:

  4. I nuked my pedometer after it continued to lie and break my fragile heart day after day. I am worried my Wii fitness coach could go the same way too – after 15 mins of non-stop prancing around and the heartless machine declared I had burned 44 calories. 44! Flippin’ heck! I could have burned more just sitting on my ample behind!

  5. shal247

    @ Allrighthere: I’m in good company then!:-)And yes, as much as it breaks my heart, I will have to ignore Oprah.
    Please Oprah, try and understand:-S

    @DG: Here’s the plan. We grab your Wii Fitness Coach, my pedometer, MiM’s treadmill and we make a HUGE bonfire out of these godawful devices and toast our future as happy women with JUGS of champagne! You in?

  6. Era

    I was going to say that there is nothing wrong with your pedometer – that a hammer can’t fix. Who doesn’t enjoy the sound of shattering errant devices? Then I saw the comment about the champagne toast and I want in!

  7. @Era: No champagne bonfire without you! Promise:-)

  8. Orange Jammies

    Take to aqua aerobics! There’s not much you can count when you’re glugging in chlorine.

  9. shal247

    I hear ya, OJ! But then it’ll me saying, “whats supposed to hurt during this one?”LOL

    I am back to Pilates, but my abs are still in denial- puh!

  10. Didja say champagne? count me in! getting pie-faced is the only way to beat this shit!

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