1. Is it redundant to say “trying to shed baby weight” when said baby is almost two? Does it smack of such sloth that I must revert to “widening girth indicative of expanding heart” or similiar comforting euphemism for blubber?
Can I hide behind or in a giant tub of ice-cream when I get there?
2. When son sees mother sobbing over random YouTube film clip, when will it be appropriate to answer honestly, “Its ok, darling. Don’t you worry. Mamma is just pre-menstrual.”
Never you say?