In Which She Goes Against Her Grain

I need to learn mindful eating. As opposed to mindless binging on crisps.

I am eliciting help from the folks at RealAge, who have incidentally estimated my real age to be 56. Or was it 58? Either way, it was the T.V’s fault.

RealAge experts offer the following spiritual pearl, in all likelihood nicked from a tome-like buddhist treatise entitled The Zen of the Raisin.

To teach yourself how to eat mindfully, start with a raisin. Take a deep, relaxing breath as you pick it up. Look at it for a few seconds. Smell it. Place it in your mouth and roll it around on your tongue. Feel the wrinkles. Now bite. Note the chewy, gritty texture — the sweet, fruity, astringent taste. Extract all the flavor before you swallow. That’s kind of the idea with mindful eating — to savor the look, smell, texture, and taste of every bite. And it works! It had a huge impact on curbing chronic binge eating in a recent study.

Sweet! Thank you RealAge. After an intimate sexual encounter with the solitary raisin, I’ve gone and scarfed the entire box.

My utter lack of food spirituality is killing me. There is no hope..


Filed under Food

17 responses to “In Which She Goes Against Her Grain

  1. Era

    HA HA!!! ROFLMAO!!! I had no idea you were into raisins that way. Oh, wait, I have to stop laughing before I pull a muscle…LOL some more…

    OK I’m back. No, sorry, not yet. LOL Ha Ha Ha! Whew. Thank you. You just cheered me up from my depressing decisions about relocation.

    Girlfriend, based on the picture I’ve seen of you, crisps must have a whole lot of anti oxidants in them, ’cause you looking good.

    I agree we really do need to enjoy our food more – maybe not that much LOL. Sorry I know I’m having way too much fun with this. I always tell Hubby “take as many chips as you want out of the bag. At least you will know how much you’re eating. If you eat out of the giant family sized bag you will finish it.

    We used to get popcorn at the movies, then I noticed whenever the the suspense or action level started building, we started eating faster and faster! Sometimes when I am at home, I just mindlessly walk to the cupboard and find something to munch on. Sigh, I need help.

  2. Wow. Really inspiring and uplifting.

    I just tried out their instructions..and lo and behold.. made my way through a nice comforting bag of Lays – u know, the salted classic variety….:) Yummm…. an intense spiritual experience…very comforting to the soul (and taste buds and tummy) of a bone tired mom…

    Thank you MGM! Thank you RealAge! 🙂

  3. rofl….nice post…will go home and give mindful eating a try…raisins, here i come :-)…

  4. Dottie

    ROTFL. So which was better, one raisin or the whole box?? 🙂

  5. Meluhhan

    Sounds like it’s been lifted off one of Cosmo’s ’50 new ways to please your man..’ articles with a few words changed. There’s only one kind of raisin’ I’m having a sexual encounter with, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t come with nuts.

    Yes, my mind’s in the gutter and I’ve worked very hard to get it there. But I do appreciate the inevitable compliment that someone will hurl at me.

  6. nat

    Groan. I can imagine the great time someone had writing that article. snickering. The folks at Real Age obviously dont have kids, laundry, grocery shopping, finding good parking spots outside schools, blogging(!!!!), cleaning, scratching that itch to do.
    What if you’re having biriyani? You’d never leave the table!

    58?!! Who told you to send in the snap too???

  7. raisin? all this palaver over a raisin? can i have such an intimate experience with a big bowl of tiramisu instead?

  8. Cecilie M

    I’m with desigirl. Tiramisu thanks! I mean seriously – a RAISIN is supposed to do something to cure binging?


    (from someone who can single-handedly finish a gigantic bag of “smågodt”, or (practically) a whole apple or carrot cake, and who has NO boundaries when there is anything custard like involved such as coconut custard pie… lethal!

    Not much of a chips girl though… must admit. Maybe a few pringles or something sour cream & onion once in a while.

  9. U ate the whole box because you could not follow instructions? I think we have a case of sour grapes here.

    A RAISIN! Those nuts at realage should have atleast chosen a banana. Atleast, it would…Ok I am zipping my mouth shut.

  10. Medha


    Can I have this “mindful eating” experience with a packet of chocolates? What… there’s a big chunk of almond in each piece! 😉 Hehe.

  11. sounds definitely uplifting and downsizing.

    you reckon they mixed the write up raisin with wine btw?

  12. Era

    @ Medha: Chocolate! That’s inspired. Gonna go get some now – my stash is always nearby.

  13. Mom Gone Mad

    @Era: Glad to have made your day;-)yeah, that mindlessly walking the cupboard to find munchies sounds like me! And no.. am not into raisins.. just felt I should give the frigging exercise a REAL go. Gah!

    @Richa: I can see Realage experts wagging their finger at you!:-)

    @Ersa: How did your mindful eating go?:-)

    @Dottie: Solitary raisin was highly overrated. Mildly nauseous after whole box. No, am not *that* into raisins apparently!

    @Meluhhan: You’re a gutter-girl after my heart – and you’ll always have a home here:-)

    @Nat: Yup, the Realage guys should have our life for a coupla days. We’ll have them binging in no time! As for sending the snap.. D-uh! you’re the BFF.. you know about my amoebic intelligence!:-)

    @desigirl: I’m in enough trouble here! – no need to mention tiramisu. But pliss to knock yourself out with that. Sounds DELISH! Raisin was just crap.

    @Cecilie: Where does this all go, hon? Does this convert into brain food for you? Cos as fabulous as you look, I can’t see it anywhere else!:-)

    @June: Pliss to refer to amoebic intelligence in comment above. yes, very hard to follow instructions and exercise self-control. I’m sure there is a diagnosis for this somewhere:-) And yes, the banana wouldave worked better, methinks;-)Oh, Meluhhan, I think we have company:-)

    @Medha: yeah, just stay away form the raisins..nauseous stuff! Chocolate is a plan:-)

    @Cynic: I reckon you’d be right. I just got back after a splendid day with friends, mindfully consuming entirely-too-large quantities of rosé wine. Far more spiritual that!

    @Era: Mindful eating of Twix?:-)

  14. Era

    I have only one word for you “Mmmmmmm!!!”

  15. Era

    Pardon the lip smacking.

  16. This is hilarious 🙂 Read this post while having lunch….totally uplifting

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