Two Guys, A Girl And A Plan

Once upon a time, there were two brothers.

And there was a girl. An excessively beautiful girl who was a mere 7 months old.

Both brothers openly coveted the girl. She became The One. This passion wrought great fear in the hearts of their guardians.

However, being temperamentally different, they found their own unique, indomitable way to approach their ultimate goal.

The older brother, born in the sign of Capricorn (with liberal lashings of Aquarian dreaminess) worships the girl. He carries her around gently and is content to tend to her every whim. He holds her on his lap for an inappropriate number of minutes and quietly pronounces to his distressed madrΓ© that she is quite lovely. In his usual, matter of fact way. He watches over her with indulgent devotion as she lies on the mat trying to slurp her delicate feet. He arranges her toy basket systematically and reports to the parents’ that they need new batteries for a couple of them. He is concerned that her tummy hurts. Does she require water? He checks out her car seat. You can never be too sure. He wishes to protect her from sun and wind and a number of other elements he can’t quite name.

The Mother, who is wigging out a gradual pace, stands agape wondering:

Who done gone growed this boy up to be so thoughtful, decent protective an’ all?

Yes, I talk funny when I’m stressed.

And the younger brother, you ask? Ah, you refer to the Libran philanderer.

He pulls out every little monkey trick in the book to impress the parents of his LoveObject. He mouths their names with a cute lisp, he dances with abandon to the beat of Daddy Cool, he all-falls-down after Ringa Roses and laughs with his face turned sunniest side up. He’s on a mission – and a roll.

Once the parents of LoveObject have been methodically disarmed, he proceeds to the rug where LO lies, flips a leg over and then proceeds to lie on her and kiss her roundly on the lips, to the eternal mortification of his guardians.

“Don’t even think that thought, young man.” says LO’sΒ  concerned father as he physically removes the scarlet lettered lad from his ward’s body parts. But hark! What is that look in his eyes? Is it a tiny spark of admiration at the daring of the whippersnapper?

The guardians despair. Their youngest, a reprobate? A Casanova drunk on whole fat milk?

The stage is set. The dice are loaded. Will these chewed nails survive another 16 years or so to witness the final denouement?

O Time, be kind.

p.s. The girl is a Scorpion. Yes, you wanted to know that. Come on, I know you’re dying to pull out your Linda Goodman bazooka’s! Hit me, baby:-)

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36 Comments

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36 responses to “Two Guys, A Girl And A Plan

  1. You need to have a 3rd child. Go on, this is the evidence.

    • Mom Gone Mad

      @sraikh: Why? Will the 3rd be less of a degenerate? Will you have him/her it it all goes horribly wrong?:-)

      @Ersa: Glad you liked it!

      @Meluhhan: Yes, I’m afraid you’re right. They fear the horny toddler. Curls=evil, debauched ways. As for upright citizens with short, clipped hair, they will find a different outlet, I’m sure. Like the mens room at VT station.

      @ILWML: Girl, I think you might just be right. Devotion can be seriously seductive:-)

      @WJ: Yup, she could:-) but woe to her, who tears their (the boys) love asunder:-)

      @Richa: πŸ™‚ Luckily, she’s too young to know it!

      @June: Now there’s a new definition for that term!LOL

  2. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  3. Meluhhan

    This one’s out of your hands, I’m afraid. It’s the curls, plain and simple. I mean, have you ever heard of a straight haired or bald casanova?

    On a related note, why do you think we go shaving children’s (usually curly) hair off in India? It’s so that they grow up repressed, like good upright citizens.

  4. She might have an occassional fling with the curls, but that smile is going to get to her finally..Take my word..it is going to be the capricorn.

    Good looks with a heavy dose of affection and intelligence-that combination cannot be resisted:-)))

  5. In a story, she would have to choose. In real life, she could easily have both, thank God.

  6. One lucky dame she is!!!
    LOL.

  7. @ wordjunkie- sibling revelry?

  8. nat

    im too old for this.

  9. @Nat: What is “this”?:-)

  10. Era

    LOL! as the mother of two girls I can understand LO’s dad physically removing “scarlet lettered lad”.

    It’s going to be an interesting 16 years don’t ya think?

  11. πŸ™‚
    Sure, I have 4, whats one more?

    I have say we had camping this past weekend and both my boys went into this blond blue-eyed’s tent with her and the dad got up to chase them out.
    Her mom and I were sitting down sipping Manhattan(s)

  12. My daughter’s 8 months old. Jus’ saying.

  13. @DG: LOL!!! Well done, you just made my day! Nothing thrills me like a mum peddling her baby daughter on a blog:-)

    I’ll keep the boys posted. Swear:-)

  14. nat

    ‘this’ meaning i had to read twice to understand the post. first i thought it was fictional. then when i read the comments i realised something else.

  15. And how do you hope it’ll be over in 16 years?

    I’m rooting for my fellow goat…we win everytime with that subtle charm:)

  16. Medha

    Oh my MGM, you watch out for your boys! They seem to be throwing themselves at all the ladies! πŸ˜‰

    Btw, couldn’t help but notice your tags- “Man Behaving Badly”. LOL!! Too funny! πŸ˜€

    • Mom Gone Mad

      @Nat: Think I should do better raising them?;-)

      @Starry-eyed: Not so secretly, I’m hedging my bets on the goat too. He is nothing if not tenacious:-)

      @Medha: Throwing themselves in diff’rent ways is all:-) The tag was a tribute to a great show, Men Behaving Badly – the male equivalent of AbFab. You should check it out.

      @OJ: You betcha! Nope, there’s only one fire sign here – yours truly. Thats drama enough. Ask the boys:-)

  17. Orange Jammies

    Now imagine the escalation in drama had one of them been Leo. Scorched the roof they would have.

  18. all those hints to let me patao your kids you ignore. and now competition. hmpf.

  19. nat

    well kids are basically copycats so your ‘raising’ them means aping you…..;)

  20. nat

    by the way – I still have your Goodman book. was wondering where i got it from. now i remember.

  21. nat

    Armaan all the way!!!

  22. What ‘boysterous’ shenanigans and one lucky little girl. And DG’s daughter is seriously cute. Just saying.

  23. Mom Gone Mad

    @Dipali! Boysterous – haha!! love that. Now I will have to use the all the time. But I will remember to credit you;-)

  24. @MGM: peddling? :pp

    @Dips – aww! you biased doosi nani, you!

  25. Dileep

    Inevitable that one of the boys would take after the uncle. Am secretly quite proud too. πŸ™‚

  26. Mom Gone Mad

    @DG: Pliss to send picture of prospective gurrl for boys. If we’re gonna do this, let it be done right and in child betrothal style:-)
    If Dipali says she’s all good, I’ll trust the village elders!

    @Dileep:Proud?? Don’t make me chase you with that broom now! You know I will:-)

  27. Chuchu

    Loved this post-please keep us updated on who finally wins-my buck rests with the curly-locked casanova;)…*hugs* to both

  28. Dileep

    I’ve decided. Arvind can hook up with a curly-haired creative goddess like Susanna Hoffs and Armaan can bring home the sporty type…a clone of either Leila Barros or Luciana Aimar will do nicely. I shall be very proud and live vicariously ever after.

  29. Mom Gone Mad

    @Chuchu: Thanks:-) We’ll see in time, won’t we?

    @Deep: Yeah, I bet you would!:-)

  30. oh my! what a delightful read this post was….you have a follower πŸ™‚

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