He Did It – Part One

MiM tagged me to write the 5 best things the Viking has done for me.

Also known as What Have You Done For Me (Not) Lately. Like most men, he wanted me write at least one point about him being a sexual powerhouse, the motion in the the ocean of lurrve and all – but seriously. What kind of gal does he take me for? This will stay a chaste zone save for all the swearing thanksverymuch.

That man in the corner of my sofa? Yup, that would be the Viking, moaning that he doesn’t want to be portrayed as a super nice Tom Hanks type who never gets to see any action in any scene – save for some tongueless kissing courtesy Meg Ryan.

Anyway, starting at #1.

18 January 2003: The Viking and I wheel our one day old baby into a paediatrician’s office. He walks in, barely looking at us, barely seeing how drawn we look, how achy we both are. I can barely feel my legs after a horrendous tear and the kind of episiotomy that made me feel like I’d been hand-sown with gunny.

He picks up my sleeping son’s left arm, holds it for a few sceonds and then drops it.

It drops like lead. Like its nothing at all. Like its dead.

“We don’t have to worry that he’ll be a discus thrower,” he says in flat monotone as he scribbles in his chart.

I think I hear a crack and I don’t know if it was my heart, or my brain exploding. Oh wait.

My brain was screaming, “Who are you? Motherfucker M.D?” Thats right. How silly of me to forget.

But my body, utterly debilitated by “natural” childbirth, by this tide of ferocious, almost incomprehensible love for this little hurt baby, just gave.

And the hand resting gently on my back suddenly became a strong pair of arms just coming out of the pitch black of the room and to scoop me and my misery into a tight embrace.

He’s going to be fine, just fine, our boy is the most beautiful baby in the world and he’ll be just fine, I keep hearing a calm voice intone through the ragged sobs that are gagging me.

Those arms and that calm voice kept me pieced together through those days and months of darkness – of dealing with my anger that wouldn’t give. My anger at my body that had let my baby down. My anger at a so-called God. The entire medical fraternity who were dickheads. Or motherfuckers. (As you can guess, I had a real thang for that word. I think it cured me. And as it turns out I was spot on regarding my instincts about their incompetence. He was finally operated at the Royal Grace in London by a Swedish specialist.)

Those hands, those arms again when I rose to my full piddly height and screamed at a three orthopedic specialists, “This is our son. Our baby. Not your fucking guinea pig.” Steadying me, calming me.

Those arms that held me and reminded me day after day that our son needed no-one’s pity. Only one arm? We would teach him to live with that and live well. Whatever happened, we would believe in him. We had to be his strength. Limitations wouldn’t define him, this gentle man said, just as his limitations hadn’t stopped him. See, the Viking is severely dyslexic. Like couldn’t-talk-till-he-was-5-dyslexic. They never thought he would finish school, leave alone ace an engineering and a management degree.

My tears, my sadness were an affront to the human spirit, he kept saying. All one had to do was to check out something like the special olympics to know that no-one could predict what a person was capable of. But if we didn’t believe it, then who would teach him to believe in himself? We had to believe.

Tough lesson for the Faithless woman who thought Grace was in a dungheap.

So there. Number One on What Have You Done For Me (Not) Lately.

He was a mountain of faith in our little boy, in me, when I was No Faith and All Fight. Fortunately there was more in him where that came from;-)


Filed under love

23 responses to “He Did It – Part One

  1. maidinmalaysia

    you killed me with this one (as Holden Caulfield would say.)

    and this is just point one?

  2. I agree with MIM. This is point 1.
    Viking sounds heroic.

    And that doc.. seriously wtf was he thinking?

  3. I wish this didn’t bring back all the pain. But the Viking is truly awesome. Thank God for him.

  4. A doctor made a cruel comment like that abt his arm?! You’re totally justified with your language:(

    This must the post you were struggling with…and this is part I???

  5. I almost teared while reading this post, MGM. 😦

    You must be so happy and grateful to have someone like The Viking in your life. πŸ™‚
    But how dare the doctor speak like that about a little boy! Grrr.

  6. Rathi

    oh! that was news to me and that post brought unbidden tears to my eyes ! I was in office and everyone around me was wondering i was sniffing and rubbing my eeeyes when I was happily sipping coffee a moment ago ! loved it !

  7. Anj

    That’s an awful time to have to relive MGM. Both you and the Viking sound fantastic…you need anger and determination to see you through something like that. That picture of Arvind with Armaan on his back and holding up both their weights on his hands..that is just amazing, in the background of this story. I am in awe of your courage and the Viking’s spirit.

  8. Chuchu

    From this I can see you are a MFEA couple-and this is just point 1..and I’d like to apologise on behalf of all the “DH”medical fraternity-I cringe every time I hear of such insensitivity and lack of empathy.We were taught “Treat each child as if it were your own…”

  9. phew! ( that’s me letting my breath out. i was holding it in while reading this post).

    lovely,lovely post.

  10. Orange Jammies

    I pray for his long life, good health and possibility of multiple cloning. Bless him.

  11. yep..plz…clone!I second OJ!

  12. This one is a keeper! Waiting for parts 2,3,4 and more.

    (And can u pls have Arvind throw a discus at that doc? He clearly deserves it).

  13. Here’s to the Viking and the super nice Tom Hanks(s) out there. πŸ™‚

  14. surabhi

    You are lucky to have such rock solid support and faith.
    and he is lucky- to have a fighting tigeress by his side.
    And your boy can only fly high with parents like you…

  15. Ditto from me on each comment and any similar one that comes in next. You had told me the story earlier yet the post had me speechless and reduced to dust…….love you darling and your little family

  16. Dottie

    the doctor, I hope had his liscense revoked. I am sorry you had to relive all that pain through this post. The Viking is truly remarkable. As are you.

  17. Era

    What a powerful testament to the Viking’s character. Of course, only one so awesome could be worthy of you. Three cheers for the Viking and three tight slaps for the doctor!

  18. Sigh! dry norwegian humour not.Glad you got the viking on the other side of the sofa.

  19. MiM: err. yes. Point 1:-)

    @Sraikh: Heroic? He normally doesn’t answer to that:-)And the doc? Less said the better.

    @Dipali: Its taken 6 years to write a single word about this. It wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t easy either. And ditto on the Viking;-)

    @Starry eyed: No, this isn’t that post really…I have a whole misery store hunny;-)

    @Miss M: Grateful I am, dear..

    @Rathi and @Mumbai Diva: Thank you:-)

    @Anj:We went through a lot that made us feel neither fantastic nor strong and brave. We weren’t always so noble “in” the situation either. In the rear view mirror things don’t look as awful though:-)

    @Chuchu: MFEA? More like odd couple who oddly click;-)And anyway, where are doctors like you when I need ’em eh?

    @OJ:Thanks dear! Now lets get clonin’;-)

    @Print Lover: Well, I’m a-keeping:-)

    @Average jane: Aye Aye! (though he’d totally get mad at this comment. We HAVE to leave Tom Hanks out of it!!)

    @Surabhi: Thanks:-) And here’s hoping.

    @Muthu: *HUGE HUG* There. I miss giving you those!:-)

    @Dottie: Revoked? He’d have had to kill us:-) Insensitive doctors are cute only when they’re Hugh Laurie. In real life? not so much. As for remarkable – thanks:-) Though I think all parents rise to meet these kind of occasions when faced with such situations, don’t they?

    @Era: Missed you, girl!Worthy of me? harharhar.. You’re a total sweetheart;-) Cheering and clapping with you!

    @June: Yes, a cheerer upper is called for now..pliss to gimme some of your funny tonic!

  20. zeno

    I’m glad all tht’s past ur fly..
    Arvind looks like a fantastic kid.

    still tring to figure part 2?:)

  21. Rainbows and Cloudbursts

    I’m glad those days are behind you!!!
    Loved the post (I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog) and having been through days and nights of worry over one of my twins, I can imagine the sheer hell you must have gone through!!! (except we were lucky our doctor was amazing and not a moron). I still get hyper each time he gets sick and want to rush to the doctor to ensure he is fine!
    Waiting to read more on the Viking. πŸ™‚

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