Oxygen

Pretty elementary if you stop to think about it.

The elegant lady in the uniform – the one with the shiny hair and great skin –  tells us in a kindly voice that we must first put our own oxygen mask in place before placing the mask for the child.

I’m slumped in my seat on the plane, returning from another strange city, desperately hoping that the friendly-looking man in the next seat is not going to attempt conversation.

I’m beat and I really need him to remain a mystery. I need to plug in my ipod and tune into a dream.

No-one told me about a damn oxygen mask, I think resentfully. Why do I never breathe enough?

Probably because everyone knows that breathing REAL oxygen would leave less time for inhaling our own guilt.

Guilty of feeling chained and drained by the expectations of routine and domesticity. If I ever knocked domestic help before, here I am – watch me now – eating crumbs of your humble pie – soon to be cleaned up by YOUR DOMESTIC HELP GODDAMIT.

Guilty in my knowledge that I want more of this – the travel, the exciting work, the coming home to my kids’  hugs with presents and less of the hard, hard work of being their parent.

Round peg in a square hole I am on this day.

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17 Comments

Filed under Parenting, Self

17 responses to “Oxygen

  1. First Time here, Well written

    “Breathing REAL oxygen would leave less time for inhaling our own guilt.”

    I like that

  2. echo MGM..echo…
    sigh….

  3. second Vinod…loved that line!

  4. What a coincidence…got the same advice from an aunt yesterday…put on my own mask first. Almost got into bad health trouble being the quintessential I-come-last kinda mom.

    Can relate to that feeling of wanting more of the getaways and less of the parenting…but take heart…that’s of the rewards of future grandmotherhood 😀

    • Mom Gone Mad

      Starry: That wasn’t good news:-/ You take care, hear?? Hope you’re okay now.

      My problem is that I don’t think I ever will naturally be the I-come-last-kinda mom. Just not me. Doing that to myself will make me ill.

  5. The balancing act for women never ends, does it?

  6. When I end up doing all feeding, bathing, cleaning etc for th kid, I am frustrated that nobody(read the hubby) helps me out.When hubby offers to help, then I get offended,fluff out my feathers,do the mother hen act and refuse his help.So its either the ‘I want some time off’ or I-come-last kinda mom attitude and this leaves the poor hubby confused 🙂

    • Haha! You’re husband better join the club of Victims of Passive Aggression:-)I hear it has a huge membership.

      And welcome to this space, bubblecatcher! Thanks for your kind words!

  7. BTW forgot to mention that I love your style of writing.

  8. Era

    Thank you so much for posting this. Restlessness is becoming overwhelming and I was feeling guilty for wanting more.

  9. i am trying so hard to stop trying to be super mom and then not guilt trip over it. slowly i am getting there.

    ofcos i get gasps of shock when i say M cooks on daily basis and that he can wipe Cub’s bum clean followed by standard I am so lucky. and i say yes I am! 🙂

    no point getting worked up over what unlucky souls say! 😉

    cheers!

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