Complicated

“So how was your morning?” the Viking queries from a random platform somewhere in the North sea. Suddenly he might as well be on the moon for all the difference it makes.

“Terrible, ” I reply. “Arvind awoke, cleaned up, dressed, ate breakfast, drank his milk and just WALKED OFF TO SCHOOL ALL BY HIMSELF. He didn’t even need a walking companion. And I watched him walk away till he was a little speck with a hint of an orange cap on his head.”

“This is terrible?”

“And Armaan. My self-toilet training little man shouting “You are SO CLEVER, Armaan! Flinke du!” in wild appreciation everytime he tinkles successfully into the toilet bowl. Dressing himself, feeding himself, frustratedly trying to belt himself into his car seat. Just in case I’m not being clear –  he wants to do EVERYTHING himself!”

“Awesome,” responds the Viking enthusiastically, ” You realise this is it, right? We’re almost past it. Diaper changes, broken nights of sleep, following their every move. We’re almost FREE! WE can actually do things *gasp* TOGETHER soon because they will be self-sufficient. This is great!”

“No, you idiot! It’s not!” I wail inconsolably, “This is part where you say, Oh dear, we no longer have any babies to snuggle and babble gibberish to. There is no little person needing us and we need to have a NEW LITTLE PERSON needing us right now!

The gobsmacked man at the other end of the line manages to force the words, “You really want another baby?” through the complex circuitry connecting us somewhat tenuously at this moment.

Oh boy, the silence.

” No, I don’t want another baby. I want YOU to want another baby desperately. Then I can be the irritating voice of reason shooting YOU down with how life is good now and how everything has gotten so much easier and LETS GET A LIFE already. Please want another baby. That way, all the time I spend thwarting that thought will be time spent not wanting to do this all over again.”

Even my subconscious didn’t know it was all THIS complicated.

Meanwhile, I have a feeling that the huge FAIL – ACCESS DENIED on my application form to the Viking can be attributed to my total and complete lack of mental health as evidenced by sparkling conversation recorded above.

I’m going to have to win one soon.

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20 Comments

Filed under Motherhood, The Viking

20 responses to “Complicated

  1. Rofl,Have another baby.

    A) you have a 50% chance of getting a girl.
    B) College education is free in Norway
    C) babies smell so delicious.
    D) because I said so

  2. I love you Shal…..ROFL…..woman!!

  3. go for it!!! you have my vote and my wishes!!!

    • Mom Gone Mad

      Thanks but no – we won’t be:-) Thats really the point. It’s all good with two kids. It’s just the minute someone tells me I can’t have something, I’m amazed by how much I want it:-)

  4. Ooohh I k.n.o.w. this thought pattern.

    Me: I want it want it want it!
    Someone/Anyone: No you cannot want it and you definitely cannot have it!
    Me: I can, and I want!
    S/A: Well, if you’re going to be a mule about it, go ahead..
    Me: Umm.. well.. actually.. you know.. maybe not!

  5. I was too confused for words:(
    Though I do get what you’re saying!

  6. nat

    Take a page out of your mom’s book – I still remember her babying you when we camped over weekends at your place. (College years lemme remind you) Not that you were appreciative. LOL. I remember the baby talk too. And I remember the “Ammey!!!” in exasperation….and I remember aunty not letting up!! LOL!!!

  7. Amma

    @Nat. I miss those good old days when this house used to be full of young, lively people.

  8. ah yes! its amazing we are mad enough to want to go through everything again.

    and at the same time play the voice of sanity too! :p

    cheers!

  9. hehehehe…..so identify with that conversation.This happens all the time with me.I guess all women are just programmed that way.To be as complicated and the confuse the hell out of the uncomplicated men.Men’s lives would be so so boring if they didn’t have us women around to add some mayhem and challenge in their lives.

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