Category Archives: Arvind speaks

Oh No He Didn’t!

.. but of course he did.

Arvind to his physical therapist and buddy, A:

When I grow big and learn to drive, I will drive Mamma to parties with her friends so that she can drink lots of wine with them. Then I’ll go pick her up and drive her home.”

Raise your hands if you wouldn’t think I had a drinking problem after that one? See ? No-one.

Damn! Where are those smelling salts when you need them? My son, the enabler, probably hid them. Grr.

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My Geeks And Other Animals

You know you live in geeky family when

  • The father tucks a young boy in for the night, cuddles him and says, “Tonight, I’m gonna tell you about the Big Bang theory.” And a pair of sleepy eyes shine.
  • When your son informs you that he needs to learn everything about chameleons. Today. And he says, ” First, we can google it, then you can read Wikifeedia (sic) about chameleons for me. And then we can see them on YouTube.”

*sigh* Thank god for the little one chewing rubber sandals and making unintelligible sounds.

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Overheard

We have a long weekend (again) this weekend thanks to the Pentecost holiday. For the unbiblical, that is the 50th day after the resurrection of Christ when his disciples received the Holy Spirit.

The only holy spirit I received today had ample quantities of vodka in it. This post may slur.

Arvind: ” So we’re not going to school on Monday? Is Jesus going to take Monday off too?”

Yup, Jesus and Mamma need a looong weekend. And beer.

Would that look good on a t-shirt?

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Shootin’ the Breeze

Mi Casa, 8 p.m.

I am hunched over the Mac preparing a memo for my annual assessment. Just one of those events I insist on shitting bricks for as a matter of over-achieving principle. I’ve never had a bad assessment, my boss is only the most fabulous boss on earth, yet there I am on the eve of A-day, nerves-a-grated and knickers in a twist. (Yeah, thats really not as hot as you’d imagine, even though I have very nice knickers thanksverymuch)

Arvind, who still insists on making up his own homework (because neither school nor parents will give him any) is making up sums (“Whats a google plus thousand, Mamma?”) and trying kindle an interest in science in his ignorant mother (“Do you want me to draw the insides of a butterfly for you?”) You get the drift.

I do the usual nodding, hmming and hawing that all parents are familiar with, but all of a sudden there he is, his face just a few inches from mine.

“You look tired, Mamma. Do you want me to give you a massage?”

Without warning, tears spring to my eyes and I’m too overwhelmed to respond. For weeks, I can go around thinking that Arvind can’t/won’t hear a word I say or that he is far too lost in his own world and thoughts – till he displays the full extent of his empathy and perception and knocks his ole Ma over with a feather.

His tiny, gentle palms rub my shoulders and caress my back. Its heavenly is what it is. His feathery touch rubbing his mother’s aches away. I sigh and lean into my lille mann.

” One day, sweetheart, you’re going to make some woman really, really happy.”

“No, I won’t,” he snorts, “I’ll want to play Wii all day and that’ll make her mad as hell!”

Aaaaand….he’s back.

My babies hand in hand

My babies hand in hand

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Reproduction for Dummies

Arvind has decided that he would like a new sibling.

“Preferably soon”, he informs his Dad.

“You can just pee on Mamma once more and then we’d have a new baby.” he explains in his usual matter-of-fact manner.

Oh the relief! All those hours we save explaining the birds and bees.

Golden Shower Love Spawn works just fine methinks.

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