In Which She Goes Against Her Grain

I need to learn mindful eating. As opposed to mindless binging on crisps.

I am eliciting help from the folks at RealAge, who have incidentally estimated my real age to be 56. Or was it 58? Either way, it was the T.V’s fault.

RealAge experts offer the following spiritual pearl, in all likelihood nicked from a tome-like buddhist treatise entitled The Zen of the Raisin.

To teach yourself how to eat mindfully, start with a raisin. Take a deep, relaxing breath as you pick it up. Look at it for a few seconds. Smell it. Place it in your mouth and roll it around on your tongue. Feel the wrinkles. Now bite. Note the chewy, gritty texture — the sweet, fruity, astringent taste. Extract all the flavor before you swallow. That’s kind of the idea with mindful eating — to savor the look, smell, texture, and taste of every bite. And it works! It had a huge impact on curbing chronic binge eating in a recent study.

Sweet! Thank you RealAge. After an intimate sexual encounter with the solitary raisin, I’ve gone and scarfed the entire box.

My utter lack of food spirituality is killing me. There is no hope..